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What an amazing few sunny days we had last week. So I decided after nursery to take a drive to the beach and I have to say that driving with children is just as dangerous as driving using a mobile phone or trying to perform delicate brain surgery whilst juggling knives in one when and holding a grenade in the other!

It’s all right when they’re small babies and can’t really say or do very much apart from cry for food. But when you have a 4 and almost 2 year old constantly yapping and fighting in the car it’s rather distracting.

“Mummy. Look! A cow” or “Look!  A fire nengine”.

But then “Look! A cow ” and “Look! A fire nengine” becomes me having to interact to prevent more moaning:

“What does a cow say girls?”

“MOOOOOOOOO!”

“And what sound does a fire engine make?”

“NEEEEEENAWWWW NEEE NAW”

“Well done girls. Will I put my little pony soundtrack on for you now?”

“No Mummy not yet let’s keep playing! 👎 What does a sheep say? BAAAAAAA! And a Lion Mummy? ROOOOAAAARRRR”

Now after making animal sounds for 20 minutes stuck in a traffic jam over the Kingston Bridge in Glasgow I’m thinking:

YES GIRLS I KNOW THE F*****G COW  SAYS ‘MOO’ BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN TELLING ME THAT A COW GOES F*****G MOO FOR THE LAST 20 MINUTES!

So why not push mummy to the limit and start crying for your dummy that has fallen on the floor of the car. 😡

They’re both crying now!!!!!! F**K, S**T, BOL***KS!

If you don’t stop that crying I’m going to shunt the the car in front so I can let you see and hear the noises of a fire engine, police car and as many neeee naw sounds as you f*****g like to drown you two the f**k out! But luckily for them the traffic starts to move.

So the moral of the story is that driving with small children should be made illegal! It’s not far away from dangerous driving.

Wine anyone? 🍷

L x